Thursday, November 5, 2009

Why!?!?!?!?!?!

UGH I'm a HORRIBLE blogger. I thought I was going to LOVE this thing. I had a xanga in like middle school and let me tell you... I POURED my heart out in that. Maybe I was just more emotional in middle school and had more to talk about... I don't know. But what I do know is that now... I SUCK. I don't update this like ever... and when I do I feel like I have nothing of importance to say. It's kinda sad but oh well. So I'm just gonna fill ya guys in on whats been going on.
I go to classes, I go to work, I go home [Bellevue], I live a very exciting life!!!

I've been hanging with Cris and the kiddos which just makes me so happy : ] Recently my cousin Todd and I have been chatting again... and DANG I miss that kid haha. We always have so much fun together and he just cracks me up! It's a joy!!! I'm farther in the process of transferring... Just sorta waiting right now. Which is the part that sucks the most : [ whatev. Keep yo fingers crossed for a sista!!!

Until Next Time
Love You ALl

Monday, October 26, 2009

College

I've learned quite a bit since I have been going to the lovely school of Wayne State some I was tested on... but I won't bore you with those : ]

1. having a bad roommate is NOT good
2. switching rooms and that girl becoming your best friend is awesome : ]
3. the very few friends I had in high school have become my best friends
4. talking to my Mom on the phone always makes me smile... even more so when she is the one to call
5. I usually don't shower until about 10 on most days
6. if I can sleep in I am happy
7. the weekend tends to start on Thursdays
8. going home and sleeping in my bed is the best thing
9. showering at home is probably better though
10. farmville should be a class
11. no matter what gag food sucks... end of story
12. if it's free... you tend to go (for example movies... come on what is better than that!!)
13. when you order something you have it sent to your dorm instead of home so that you can get a package!!!
14. even 5 bucks is super exciting
15. you consider your exercise for the day walking to class


those are just a few... I'm to tired to think of others and waiting to get off work so I can go to one of those free movies!!!

Until Next Time
Love You All

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Yikes : / I'm Gonna Pass Out

Many of you may not know this story I am going to tell


But okay so Junior year of high school I was experiencing pain in my chest [aka heart] and just beating that didn't feel right. It felt really fast but my pulse was normal or it would just feel like it would beat normally and then have a few quick not normal beats. It makes me SUPER tired and light headed and it just hurts.


This hasn't stopped since I first felt it. But I went to the doctor and was on a heart monitor and they did see some weird stuff going on so I was sent to Omaha Children's Hospital to meet with a pediatric cardiologist where he told me this was just "extra adrenaline" and because I am so small I will just feel it more than other people.

Ever since then I have just wanted to pull my B.S. card. It hasn't stopped in like what 3 years... nooo more like 4. ugh it's annoying and it sucks and it hurts and I just want to know what the heck is wrong?!?!?!?!


My heart sucks : [ haha I want to know whats going on!

Until Next Time
Love You All

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

And They Say Being Selfish is Bad?!?!

Yup that's right I'm SELFISH!!!!
I'm SO done with trying to please everyone else I'm ready to make my self happy first and do what's right for me.

So I have begun my application to UNO scary scary scary. But it's for the best.


I've just been very overwhelmed right now and boys are just lame. I've decided they are a waste of time... like honestly they really are. They say "oh I'm SO excited for you to come home so we can hang out" so of course... just like any girl this makes me happy and makes me smile and makes me look forward to coming home... and NOTHING honestly eeeeffff that!!! I'm over it.

So now it's me and all me : ] I'm working to making myself happy again. I've been in this constant almost like "coasting" mode. It's old and I need a change : ]

Maybe transferring will be good. But then I'm worried that I'll be back at home and my friends are here and the people I go out with are here and so now I'm just scared that this is only going to get worse. We'll see. Keep me in your prayers : ]

I'm tired. I'm going to bed.

Until Next Time
Love You All

Sunday, October 11, 2009

To Jump... Or Not To Jump

They say college is when you find yourself. And I really do believe this I have grown soo much since I have been in college. I know who my real friends are and I know the friendship I have had for 12 years may not be the strongest one I have or even the most important but it's there and that's all that matters. I know she will still be there at my wedding as my Maid of Honor and I know we will be friends until my very last breathe. I have also learned that boys are not the most important thing right now... heck they aren't even really important at all. I have had a lot of time to figure these things out... but now I am being faced with decisions that I have about 3 weeks to make.


Should I transfer at semester or not? Should I move in with the 2nd family or not? Am I going to regret either of these decisions? Is it really worth it to transfer now, or should I just wait until next year? I HAVE NO CLUE...

I keep weighing the pro's and con's of both of the 2 major decisions and I just don't know... I feel so over whelmed and scared that I'm fighting tears as I type this. I really just don't know what I want... and that's a first for me in a while I usually know what I want and I go for it. I know I want to transfer after this year so this is how my mind battle goes
Me 1. well hmm why don't you just wait?
Me 2. Because you're already BEHIND and you NEED to get into the hospitalls
Me 1. Yeah but you LOVE Wayne and your roommate and your classes AND Professors
Me 2. Yes but think about the money I would be saving!!! Almost $5,000 maybe even more :o
Me 1. Oh come one you've managed for 3 semesters now, what's a 4th?
Me 2. But I really need that money...


and so it continues. It's such a struggle. I have been praying and praying and praying for God to speak to me to help me in this decision because I know He has a plan and He's driving my car but I really wish He would let me know which direction He is taking me.


Dear God, please continue to watch over me and help me. I am struggling a lot with this choice and I need your help. I haven't been able to make it through anything without you before and I don't plan on trying now. I would love it if you could just give me a hint of what you want me to do. I trust in you with all of my heart, soul and mind. Please continue to hold my hand as we make this journey. I am scared because I'm not sure what to do. I would really really really love it if you could step in and show me : ] Thanks so much



Everyone else if you could also be praying for me that would be great : ] I know his plan is amazing and I know it will all work out I would just love to have the guidance!!!

Until Next Time
Love You All

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Coastin'

I haven't felt inspired to write lately... heck when do I ever feel "inspired".
This week is taking FOREVER it's not fun!!!


but since I haven't updated in over a week I will give you guys the recap
I go to class and work everyday still. That's loads of fun : ]

Jackie came up Saturday night and we had a fun time. I'm glad she came cause she brought me my coats that I left at home since it has been FREEZING here lately : [ I am honestly starting to believe that summer just didn't come this year. It's sad.

One of my friends is running the Chicago Marathon this weekend, so we have been talking about our running... well... his running and my lack of running : ]
I'm running the Lincoln Half in May which is just horid because it's a spring marathon which means I have to train in the WINTER... just thinking about it makes me want to cry!!!


I need warm running gear. Donations can be sent to me... if you need the address email me
: ]

any donations would be nice... money or clothes I'm a size small or extra small if they have it : ]

So hopefully I will start running again soon, like tomorrow!!! [I'll keep you posted on how that goes]

Basically nothing is new and I live a boring life : [
I'm going home this weekend... yes AGAIN I know stop yelling at me!!! geeze!
The mother is wanting to spend time with me which hey I'm down for that... We are going BOOT shopping. Yup I'm excited. Since it turns in to the North Pole in Wayne during the winter I need me some nice boots : ] : ]

I'm very ready to get off work... yeah I'm writing this at work its awesome... NOT

anyways this is probably where I'm just going to end it. I'll try and be better and post more often. Sorry guys : ]

Until Next Time
Love You ALl

Monday, September 28, 2009

It's All About Growing Up

OOOHHHH man : ] this weekend was BOMB and I had a fuuun time : ]

a lot was going on this weekend and I was busy busy. Friday was a pretty chill day nothing to crazy but Saturday was when it started getting busy! I took my mom and Jeff to the airport for their week in Orlando.

I spent a lot of the day with Cris and the kiddos. Cris has been a very good friend to me since my freshman year of high school. She was a small group leader (as apposed to a large group T-bone that was for you haha) and I was blessed to be in her group! So she has been there through all the crazy times and I am so happy we have stayed close!!
Well anyways her oldest daughter Hope had her homecoming Saturday and so it was very crazy for us that Hope was already in high school and going to homecoming because that is when Cris and a I got close. I ran around with Cris while Hope was getting her hair done and then we went back to the house to do make up and take some pictures before I had to leave.She just looked sooo gorgeous! and I was so happy that she wanted me to be a part of this. I love this girl so much : ] She's like my little sister!!!


After pictures I had to head off to my Dad's house because it was River City Roundup!!! We have gone to this rodeo I'm pretty sure almost every year since we've lived here... or just about!!!! This year Paula came with us and I'm really happy she did! We had a really good time and I'm happy we got to go again this year : ]

Last night I got to spend some more time with Cris : ] I met up with here and the kids at Runza and then just the 2 of us went and got some ice cream. I love hanging out with this girl!!! She just makes me happy and I can talk to her about anything and it's great to have an adult like that. I have many of those adults in my life but I went 2 years of seeing Cris once a week with about 7 other girls and we just created this special bond and I just really am truly blessed to have her : ]

LOVE YOU CRIS

I have had a great weekend and sadly it is almost time to go back to school : [ I'm just waiting for laundry to get done and then I have to pack and shower and I'll be on my way back to Wayne.


Here are some pictures from the weekend. Enjoy!



Until Next Time
Love You All